Checking in

It's been a little while since I last posted. I'm still here, but I'm working on some things that I'm not ready to share with the whole world just yet. Bear with me. I'll keep you posted.

Wiring Diagrams

According to the books and articles I read before launching into this year-long adventure, I could expect to spend 2-3 months in "detox". My energy levels would be low, and I would enjoy staying at home and doing quiet activities with a few close friends. This was supposed to give way to a more exploratory phase, during which I would go to art exhibits, take day trips, join groups, and generally make my way back into the wider world. After a few months of this, I would be ready to start ramping up to rejoin the workforce. Yeah, right.

Here I am, after 7-plus months, enjoying a blend of hibernation, exploratory activities, and small freelance projects. The "supposed to" schedule has fallen by the wayside, and I am just taking life as it comes for as long as I can. This approach has turned out to have unexpected benefits.

I find myself taking small, one-off, noncommittal samples of things that I might be interested in, interspersed with long stretches of relaxation. The noise level in my life is the lowest it has been since, well maybe ever. In the quiet spaces, I'm starting to pick up signals of long-suppressed ideas, wants, and needs.

I'm working like an electrician, first shutting off all the breaker switches, then turning them on one by one to see what lights up. When something affects me strongly, I pause to examine the reasons for the reaction. As I find my hot buttons, I examine the wiring diagrams to see what they are connected to.

This kind of careful examination requires stepping back from the gaudy, flashing carnival midway that is city life in the 21st century. Just as a careful electrician makes sure that the power is shut off before she begins working on the wiring, I am stepping back from the political campaigns, protest rallies, committees, social events, and jam-packed schedules that are so typical of life in Washington, DC. Perhaps an election year was not the best time to start this retreat into my own quiet space, but my interior clock is dictating things for the time being.

I still keep myself informed, but I find myself alienated from the mud-slinging and the snark. I yearn for more understanding about why intelligent, rational people of good will take such radically different stands on the issues. I grow impatient with the trite slogans, marketing spin, and outright lies that each side tells about the other. Why can't we look at both sides, find out what our highest priorities are, and come to a compromise that we all can live with? Please don't say that it's because the other guys have gone insane or given themselves over to pure evil -- we all know that's not true.

And maybe this is where my future direction lies. Maybe I am a person who listens to varying points of view and puts them out in a calm way for others to examine and discuss. I have spent a lifetime gathering facts and observations, putting things in order and juxtaposing things in an interesting way. If I can find a way to make that pursuit pay my bills, I might just have something.

So please don't be offended if I don't sign your petition, show up at your rally, join your committee (although nobody I know has actually expressed any sense of being offended). Only a few small lights are on in my metaphorical house just now--I'm still working on the wiring.

Pondering Life in the Real World

Last week, I listened to a thought-provoking talk on the myths that we create to explain the world to ourselves and our communities. By "myths", I mean stories that, although fictional, contain some element of truth, morality, or human nature. During the audience comment period that followed, several people responded that they had no use for tall tales and fiction, preferring instead to deal with the world as it is.

It's a noble thought, avoiding fantasy and make-believe in order to spend more time solving problems in the here and now. The problem I have with this mindset is that it misunderstands the role of story-telling. Far from being a way to avoid reality, myth-making is a device for setting up simplified model systems in order to better grasp some concept that is too complex or emotionally charged to deal with head-on.

Scientists use model systems all the time. When they first delve into a new concept or discovery, they often set up a simplified version in the lab or in a computer program. They control all but a few variables so that they can observe each variable separately to see how it affects the system as a whole. The real world seldom lets us tease out individual variables in this manner, so the model system is a necessary first step toward an accurate understanding of a real-world system.

After the foundations are laid, the model must be validated against a more realistic system. Often, a series of increasingly complex models are necessary before the whole thing is ready for validation in the outside world.

Likewise, our myths allow us to isolate and explore just a few aspects of our complicated existence using idealized worlds and simplified characters. The simplicity allows a clarity that is seldom available in the daily onrush of events and interpersonal interactions. Myths and stories make no attempt to explain all of reality -- how could they ever succeed?

Fantasy stories are a proven tool for talking about topics that are too emotionally charged to address head-on. The television show Star Trek talked about real-world racism using space aliens as stand-ins for present-day humans. JRR Tolkien explored the concept of evil via the malevolent Sauron, the amoral Saruman, and the obsessive Gollum. These stories stood a better chance of getting a point across to audiences who had their guard up against full frontal attacks on their cherished beliefs. Subversive, but effective.

Myths, allegories, fantasy literature -- I suppose some people just aren't into this form of truth-seeking. If they have methods that work better for them, I respect that, and I hope that they respect my love of metaphorical worlds. The real world needs both Muggles and Wizards, after all.