Testing My Wings

In the last week or so, I have sensed the beginnings of a shift from "ought to" to "going to". "Going to" is not very good about following my do-list from top to bottom. It does cover some of the items on my list, things that I know I'm going to need to do. Other projects, ones that I used to wish that I had time for, and now I do have time for, have somehow lost priority. The paperless (or at least less-paper) office, the museum trips, the unfinished craft projects. Oh, these things will happen, but they will be interspersed with the "going to" things.

"Going to" includes revamping my professional website (with the help of my sister, who is taking classes in web design), resurrecting the science blog and news feed that never quite got off the ground (stay tuned for more details as they develop), reading "The Vein of Gold" by Julia Cameron (which I have owned for years but never got around to reading) and actually doing the exercises in the book. (I'm up to age 20 in my narrative timeline.)

That doesn't mean that there's no time for fun, spontaneity, long walks, or sitting on my balcony watching the birds and squirrels. It just means that now I have some nascent little ideas of what I need to be doing, and I'm making a small start on actually doing them.

Speaking of spontaneity, I just go back from a day trip to Philadelphia that I decided to take just a few days beforehand. A friend of mine was being installed as an Ethical Culture leader, and another friend was asking around to see if anyone could give her a ride to the ceremony. I had been sitting on the fence about going until then, but I said yes. Three of us rode in my car. We had a wonderful time, met some new people, and afterward, we stopped in to see some old friends who had moved to that neighborhood ten years ago. It felt really good to be out and about again, taking in a change of scenery, renewing old friendships, walking through Rittenhouse Square on a perfect spring day. Even getting (briefly) lost at night on the way back to the highway was not so scary, since I had my two friends helping me look for road signs.

The Philadelphia trip was not on the do-list, but it fit perfectly into the scheme of what I needed to do, who I needed to see, and how I should be moving forward. Someone once said that they didn't need to see their destination, just the next few steps forward on the road. Well, I think my flashlight just turned on, and I know where to put my feet for the next few steps. I can't see beyond that until I actually take those steps, so I'm working on that now.